Borrowing Confidence

February 9, 2021

Self-confidence is often in short supply when a woman who has experienced homelessness joins Bridge of Hope.  Traumatic life events and experiences; an abusive marriage or relationship, a nasty divorce, a history of sexual abuse, loss of employment, or eviction; impact esteem and the ability to envision a better life for herself and her children. But confidence and dreams are exactly what she needs in order to be successful in Bridge of Hope!

So, how does a woman experiencing homelessness move from a position of feeling powerless to a position of confidence in her ability to create a better future for herself and her family? I suggest she needs to borrow confidence from someone else until she can develop confidence in herself. I’ve watched this happen over and over again. Neighboring volunteers express their confidence in the women in little and big ways. They do this without giving it much thought – because they see the woman in a different light than she sees herself. Over time, this “borrowed confidence” helps the woman begin to believe in herself.  She thinks to herself,” If they believe I can do it, maybe I can.  Maybe I have what it takes to provide a better life for myself and my kids.”

Recently, at one of our graduation celebrations, I contrasted the woman’s self-confidence when she interviewed to start the Bridge of Hope program, with where she is today.  A little over a year ago, she was completely broken and doubting her ability to make it on her own. But now we are celebrating a successful graduate.  How did she do it?  She borrowed the confidence that her Neighboring Volunteers and I had in her until a new level of confidence was born within her.

So, whose confidence are you borrowing from right now? Who are you loaning confidence to right now?  Both are needed!

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

Audrey Metzler

Director
Bridge of Hope Lancaster

 

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Borrowing Confidence